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Nothing Left to Fear But Myself

by Dani House

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1.
I feel like a prisoner inside of my head My brain is the bars and the sentence is my bed I feel like a lunatic inside of my room These walls are a padded cell I gotta break through I feel like a turtle trying to cross a busy street, cause the world is out to get me, i think Feels like I'm in the gallows when I try to have hope I just can't breathe my anxiety's the rope I feel like a polaroid living in the past I'm trying to step out of frame cause I know it can't last I feel like a submarine that can only sink, cause the world is out to get me, i think I feel like an octopus with invisible ink, cause the world is out to get me, i think
2.
You can't pay for your alcohol with loneliness Even though that's what you need it for You can't follow your dreams by sleeping through them But sleep is all my loneliness can afford I figured you were bound to leave my head Just like you were bound to leave my side But I guess that was not to be I wish things turned out differently So I'll be seeing you around when I close my eyes tonight I sing about you shitfaced in the shower I sing about you lying on the lawn But you can't pay for love with sappy love songs Even though I think that's what I write them for You can't pay for your alcohol with loneliness Even though that's what you need it for You can't follow your dreams by sleeping through them But sleep is all my loneliness can afford
3.
bed still reeks of Seagram's well let's just pick up where I left off cause you woke up beside me and the rest is best left forgot holes in my socks, heartbreak on the rocks ignoring all the clocks as I walk away my phones are always breaking maybe it is just my subconscious breaking through my feebleness to block you out bulletproof vest made of indifference that I always slip into when you're around so while 'on a roll I'll set my self-control on cruise so I don't have to care what happens now holes in my socks, heartbreak on the rocks ignoring all the clocks as I walk away
4.
cold pizza for breakfast but I guess it's 2pm Indian summer and the trees are bare it's only partly sunny and the windows whisper wistfully with me I'm usually alone these days and sleep an awful lot dreaming day and night of all the love that I have lost Game Boy Color on the balcony Indian summer please don't ever leave it's only somewhat breezy and the fallen leaves beneath my feet all just rustle restlessly with me smoke faintly perfumes the air Indian summer and the trees are bare it's only partly sunny and the windows whisper wistfully with me
5.
Loose Change 03:27
loose change in my pockets that I can't explain spent all my rent last night on beer and pain fast lane, gotta find myself a shallow grave don't let me drive, cause i don't wanna be too late legless light leap years abound snorting Ibuprofen at the speed of sound I see my epitaph sweating cold out of the walls I'm dead last so damn fast with no missed calls just loose change spare change ain't a luxury I can relate spent my last dime on a god damn ketchup stain your face is a cigarette burn on my brain you look at me like you never even knew my name Motel 6 in Decatur crying in the tub with a Steel Reserve wet sock vagabond feast on the lawn instant coffee and Maruchan and loose change loose change in my pockets that I can't explain spent all my rent last night on beer and pain I'm too late to amount to anything you want I'm just your loose change
6.
7.
Evaporate 04:32
mock nocturnal eyes burrow inside my tired lies and I won't last the night if I don't drown my mind oh how long the time can last with venom in the hourglass shaking hands with all your phantoms you despise I don't know where we go when our sorrows overflow but I can tell you where I'd like to be when I'm stuck out in the rain and land on your window pane I try to call out your name, as I evaporate I still remember your name after I desiccate is it too late to escape my fate?
8.
what have I done? I've let myself become the one thing I swore I'd not be the devil who reaches for me but I ain't afraid to die I've nothing left to fear but myself look at what I've done so drunk from poison and blood for innocence was ripped from my hands so I bitterly pillage it wherever I can and now it's so clear I've nothing left to fear but myself who can I become? the damage cannot be undone I need a place to run cause I've only ever run from myself
9.
though talk is cheap, you can't seem to keep your mouth from bleeding you dry but never so dry you can't cry it clearly shows that you damn well know how everybody comes and goes you're just dying way too slow married to a chemical, you need not try not to fall buried in a chemical, forget it all most every night, everyone in sight just drains away your will to fight for even just some peace of mind a heart attack keeps all your fears intact and they never stop coming back maybe it's just hope you lack the die is cast, how much longer will you last?

about

recorded mostly in muskegon, mi. with my trusty $20 bestler and two barely forearm sized keyboards, one of which contains 5 jelly bean sized buttons which served as my drum set.
thanks for listening

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released November 30, 2016

written, performed and produced by Dani House

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